Feeling different

My baby is gone. Now another is born.
One day he told me that he doesn't want me anymore. I left him in his space and I forgot this part of my history and preserved my memories. My real baby is the one I have in my memory, not the one who denied me and revealed himself so cold and distant.
Now I feel safe from what I want, but lost for having lost a future with my dear baby. In

my mind I have one and in my soul another.
How can I build a future by preserving my old baby? I do not know, I do not know ....