One day the kid told that had to go away because the mother was a bad influence. It was really the beginning of the unthinkable. It had never occurred to the mother, who am I, that she was a bad company, that she was an absent mother, who had treated her children badly by denying them company and conversation.
This mother has fond memories of their childhood. This kid almost dyed in her arms when she was a few months old at the hospital. I fought with all my strength to not give up on this tremendous nightmare. And she survived. They (mother and her kids) walk together to schools, played with dolls and puzzles, stories at bedtime, birthday cakes decorated in detail for all children in the family. Christmas decorations throughout the house and so on, and so on .....
What has she failed to do? Did she failed, in fact? Or is it the psychological circumstances, from one part to another that say so?
....
I feel that I failed, yes, when I fell into my abyss; when that abyss engulfed me in the darkness. Then I turned to myself and to my memories, to those who no longer can return. This swallowed me up so that I made everyone suffer around me for years. It was a long way. I had to take my time to get back and put my feet on the ground.
The real flowers waited for me until I saw them again: big and beautiful, they were there but I could not see them until one day.
With precious help I was able to climb my mountain and, once again, to see the flowers and the birds at the garden, the insects of wonderful colours that, without knowing my condition, continue their toil, who knows(?) waiting for me.
But here I am, near the top of the mountain almost with head held high and chest protruding like a majestic lion defending his offspring.
What have I failed?
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